this man won the internet
If I was famous I would follow a bunch of my fans on twitter and reply to their random tweets or send them a stupid selfie if they were having a bad day man I’d be the best celebrity ever people make me famous
Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate youDay 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbagMonth 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRRMonth 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? PleaseMonth 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.Year 1: One down. 17 to go…Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEARTYear 3: Oh thank god that’s overYear 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shitYear 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS
Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?
year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!
year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.
Supernatural hates lamps.
STOP LAMP ABUSE TODAY
REBLOG THIS AND SAVE LAMPS FROM ABUSE
What have lamps done to you!? They just fucking give you light! STOPLAMP ABUSE!
Now they’re getting revenge.
when you clearly ignore someone but they keep talking to you
Me: *at a white persons house*
Friend: my moms making dinner.. Spaghetti with ketchup
Me: my mom said I gotta come home right now immediately